Three Times
by uptightcrankyshadownet
Summary: Three times Alex looked into the Mirror of Erised.


The first time comes when Alex finds the mirror. She's bored, Nikita's out again, and she's walking around the safe house, when she discovers it hidden in a nook she's never seen- and she's pretty sure Nikita hasn't either. It's dark, it's dusty, and the mirror gleams like the end of the proverbial tunnel amongst the blackness. Alex can't help but feel drawn to it- it's calling to her, pulling her closer. Her fingers skim the frame, ornate and glorious. She can see the majesty of the mirror, even with the dirt and grime layering it… and how magnificent it must have been in its heyday.

But what strikes her the most is the text written above the glass. It doesn't seem to _mean _anything- 'erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi'- but Alex soon figures it out, reading it back to front.

_I show not your face but your heart's desire._

She's puzzled for a moment, then catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

Her heart stops.

It can't be.

But it is.

The mirror shows her. But by her side are her parents. Smiling. Happy. Together. Like before.

Alex's vision blurs with tears as she reaches out, fingertips grazing the surface, icy cold to the touch. She collapses to the ground, knees giving out on her as she shakes with silent sobs.

Never again.

The second time, Alex's completely forgotten about the mirror. It's been a while, and so much has happened during that time. But sitting in the safe house with Nikita after successfully beating Division at their own game once again, she feels… contented. Not happy, but satisfied.

And something tugs at her, irresitible, to explore another part of the loft while Nikita washes up.

When she rediscovers the cranny, the mirror- it all falls back into place. She approaches it with wonder this time; speculates if it'll show her the same image she saw then, or something else. She squints, breathless, and makes out the reflection.

It's her. Holding a gun, battle-scarred, but triumphant. By her side is Nikita, chin tilted, jaw wired with resolve, eyes alight with pride. Bodies lie in front of them, riddled with bullet holes, and something's on fire behind her. Alex takes in the scene, and realizes with a rush of elation that the bodies the corpses of Percy, Roan, Amanda. What she's just torched, what she's just taken down… is Division.

The rush of power slowly fades, leaving an ever-stronger flame of hope and determination. Divison must be stopped. _Will _be stopped.

As Alex sneaks out from her hidey-hole, she briefly wonders if she should get Nikita to take a look, too.

The third and final time is a long, long interval after. Everything that's happened, every wound she's suffered, every life that's been lost- it's finally come to fruition.

With Nikita by her side, Division has gone to pieces. No innocent will ever have to be hurt again at Percy's whim. No recruit will be forced to play Amanda's mind games. They've done it. They're free.

The word tastes like honey on her tongue, sliding down her throat and warming her stomach. She savours it- the sweet, sweet taste of victory.

Alex's intrigued the day after it all ends, how her reflection in the mirror will look like now that her 'heart's desire' then has been fulfilled. She decides she'll tell Nikita about it, now that everything is finally over.

Nikita grins knowingly when Alex divulges her secret, and simply replies, "I know."

"About the mirror?" Alex's cry of dismay and disappointment makes Nikita chuckle. "Of course. The Mirror of Erised."

Alex sighs. "Here I was thinking I could spring a surprise on you for once." Curiosity overtakes her, and she asks boldly. "What did you see?"

Nikita goes still, eyes flashing with hesitation. "Alex." It's a warning, a question, and Alex presses on. "What was it?"

The older woman sighs, shakes her head. "I looked into it, three times after it became my mission to defeat Division. And every single time it was the same thing."

Alex remembers Nikita's past, flinches. Suddenly she knows what Nikita's going to say- and it knocks the wind out of her lungs, her heart dropping into her stomach.

"Daniel, and Division taken down." Alex answers for her, voice strangled and hoarse, because she knows she will not- can not- be part of that reply.

Nikita's eyebrows arch, her face twitches- and it takes Alex a moment to realize she's trying not to smile. "Division, yes. But other than that…" She pauses for a moment, and when she speaks again her voice is softer, more affectionate. "It was you. Always you, by my side. Because I would let the world go to hell in a handbasket if it meant you were safe."

Alex stares up at Nikita, and suddenly she seems to be so much- her mentor, her confidante, her friend, her sister, her mother…

Maybe more?

"Let's go look at it again." Nikita's hand closes around her wrist as she drags her protege to the recess where the mirror is tucked out of sight from prying eyes. Alex complies, following, until they're standing in front of the mirror, observing.

"Hey," Alex frowns. "It's not showing anything. It's just… us. Our reflection. I mean, if you're seeing the same thing I do."

"I am." Nikita looks as befuddled as her for a moment, then understanding crosses her face. "Oh." One word, layered with awe and reverence.

"What?" Alex asks anxiously.

The sparkle in her sensei's bright eyes captures her heart completely. "It's showing us… because this is what our hearts desire." Nikita announces her revelation as her hand wraps around Alex's waist, pulling her closer. "Together. Us." She says the word with such tenderness that chills prickle against Alex's skin, and their gazes lock onto each other's.

The looking glass is the only witness as Nikita's lips touch Alex's in a kiss that's far from brief or chaste, and if they were looking, they'd see that all that was being displayed in Erised, was simply their reflection and nothing more.


End file.
